Sunday, 9 September 2012

Why Fifty Shades of Grey should be made into a manga

I know it's a bad novel and I've said so many times. but there are some silver linings: namely the Inner Goddess and the Subconscious. Why? you scream. Apart from being (unintentionally) funny, they are metaphors for Anastasia's state of mind. You know, when you want to express something and can't find words enough?

I love this parody! Also,

I must say the actress looks like EL James! Ironically Jacob Gosling is supposed to represent Jacob Black/Jose when in reality EL James' husband says Ryan Gosling is to play Christian Grey.

Reminds you of the Brontës. No, the language is redundant and less powerful. But if we read EL James as a parody of Jekyll and Hyde complexes, why not? It is my personal opinion that 50 Shades is better off as a Manga than a written novel. Because in mangas you get to see visual renderings of the character's thoughts in a state that the characters aren't in. So what about 50 Shades Anime Version? I knew a number of girls at school who read pornographic manga, which proves that 50 Shades which is more suited to airy bimboes can appeal to the geeky crowd.  Unfortunately I'm not a manga reader, so I can't imagine all the possibilities the series can take, but hey, let us provide a living for manga artists.

You get to see the luxury suite really for yourself in visual form, as well as the food. (OMG FOOD PORN). It may even vie with Ratatouille in terms of FOOD PORN. Also, how to draw in the inner goddess and the subconscious? One square shows what Ana is doing, the next shows what she is thinking (as in, the inner goddess jumping up and down like a cheerleader.)

"I want you to become well acquainted, on first name terms if you will, with my favorite and most cherished part of my body. I’m very attached to this.” - Christian Grey to Ana. The artist could render this as a representation of a banana-shaped object with eyes and a smiley face waving and saying "Hi!" oh and wearing sunglasses.

My inner goddess sits in the lotus position looking serene except for the sly, self-congratulatory smile on her face.~ Anastasia. A picture of Ana sitting like the Buddha in some robe sitting on top of a lotus and meditating.

My subconscious is frantically fanning herself, and my inner goddess is swaying and writhing to some primal carnal rhythm.~ Anastasia. Do Regency lady fanning herself perspriring in disapproval, while the Inner Goddess is a woman in a bearskin doing some barbarian danc

 “I thought it was chocolate hot fudge brownie sex that we had, with a cherry on top. But hey, what do I know?” - Ana. Just draw a brownie with a little smiley food flag on it saying SEX. And another one of a vanilla ice-cream with a sad face flag saying SEX.
 “I found some baby oil. Let me rub it on your behind.” “Christian squirts baby oil onto his hand and then rubs my behind with careful tenderness — from makeup remover to soothing balm for a spanked ass, who would have thought it was such a versatile liquid.” - This would make a good commercial. I suspect EL James was aiming to become the spokesman for a baby oil brand and make millions out of it.
I just heard an interview on Youtube where EL James says "there's very well-rounded characters," and I laughed. Christian Grey is a Mary Sue disguised with the usual excuse of Tortured Past and Inability to Commit. He is a Villain Sue, where they get their way despite being so bad and spiteful and domineering. By the way Villain Sues do exist in real life - I've known some of them, though they weren't as deep and talented as novels would have them. I have no objection to Villain Sues in fiction because they do portray the Harsh Realities of Life, and serve as a useful antagonist to the hero. What I object to is that we're expected to fantasise about them and love them. How shallow we all are.

But the virus is spreading. I'm now in  a  remote part of Cornwall, and upon getting on the train and seeing someone (finally!) reading a book, what do I see on peering closer that it's Fifty Shades??? Who on earth would spend money on such a thing?! Granted, I had a book that was double the price (it was hardback) but worth it - it was Mansfield Park, by the way, a grossly underrated book I'll be posting on.

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