Sunday, 10 June 2012

Do not go gentle under the bed-rites: Parody of Fifty Shades of Grey

I wrote this poem in one night. It's based on the rhyme scheme of Dylan Thomas' Do not go gentle into that good night. I was thinking of that poem, and then it suddenly occurred to me the "Do not go gentle" could allude to more filthy matters involving bed-sheets and immediately thought of parodying Fifty Shades which is chock- a-block full of sex.  I couldn't use bed-sheets, as it didn't fit into Thomas' rhyme scheme, so I changed it to bed-rites. If it weren't a parody, I swear that first line would sound almost sensual.

Do not go gentle under the bed-rites,
Strong hands should battle with the softened prey,
Spank, spank away with all your silver might.

Brandish the meat-chopper into my sight,
And chain my body to the dinner tray:
Do not go gentle under the bed-rites.

Spare no sword or pistol for your delight:
Unleash on me the tie of shimmered grey,
Spank, spank away with all your silver might.
Smear me with garlic, pepper and marmite,
Grill me like an oyster without delay:
Do not go gentle under the bed-rites.

I will moor in you into the wild night

On the sharp spikes let us commence the play,
Spank, spank away with all your silver might.

A billionaire may think torturing's his right"

"Romantic!" as some agèd crones will say.
Do not go gentle under the bed-rites
Spank, spank away with all your silver might.


3 comments:

  1. You kind of killed me. It's hilarious and morbidly fascinating. But I do _not_ want to ask how much of this is really in the "book".

    Who's the second painting (winter scene) by?

    Can I share this on my Tumblr (directing to your blog, of course)?

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    Replies
    1. Actually my poem is a gross exaggeration of what really happened. It was basically tying up and whipping and the utilisation of some mysterious silver balls whose function I still don't know. No grilling or cannibalism was involved, unless you count the ice-cream scene. The second painting is by Jean-Leon Gerome depicting a duel. Sure, you can share it on Tumblr. Can you link it to me?

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  2. Here's the link to my tumblr; the link to your poem is one post down. I got your email and will reply (verbosely) when things slow down a bit. http://litlass.tumblr.com/

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